In the ![]()
'Death at a Funeral' remake, Aaron (Chris Rock) and Ryan's (Martin Lawrence) father is dead. Aaron, the dutiful son, has taken care of his parents for the past five years. Though he lives in his parent's home, his income as a tax accountant is supporting them. Ryan, nine months younger, is a celebrated author. As the family gathers for the funeral ceremony, the brothers learn their father had a gay lover and the drama begins.
This remake has an all-star cast and features over-the-top comedy situations. Appearances by Danny Glover (Uncle Russell), Columbus Short (Jeff), Peter Dinklage (Frank), Loretta Devine (Cynthia), Tracy Morgan (Norman), James Marsden (Oscar), and Luke Wilson (Derek) make 'Death at a Funeral' truly entertaining.
Read the best quotes from 'Death at a Funeral' after the jump.
![]()
In the 'Death at a Funeral' remake, Aaron (Chris Rock) and Ryan's (Martin Lawrence) father is dead. Aaron, the dutiful son, has taken care of his parents for the past five years. Though he lives in his parent's home, his income as a tax accountant is supporting them. Ryan, nine months younger, is a celebrated author. As the family gathers for the funeral ceremony, the brothers learn their father had a gay lover and the drama begins.
This remake has an all-star cast and features over-the-top comedy situations. Appearances by Danny Glover (Uncle Russell), Columbus Short (Jeff), Peter Dinklage (Frank), Loretta Devine (Cynthia), Tracy Morgan (Norman), James Marsden (Oscar), and Luke Wilson (Derek) make 'Death at a Funeral' truly entertaining.
Here are the best quotes from 'Death at a Funeral':
Aaron: "Brian, who's this?"
Brian (Kevin Hart): " I asked myself that when my father passed."
Aaron: "Who's this in the coffin, cause that's not my father!"
Brian: "This almost never happens."
Aaron: "You've got Jackie Chan in here...This is not Burger King. You can't just mess up my order!"
Norman: "When it's my funeral, I want people to be celebrating. Like it's Anna Nicole Smith or Richard Nixon, somebody big.
Derek: "The stock market should crash, factories shut down, girls crying in the streets..."
[Norman complains about Derek lighting up a little cigar]
Derek: "You used to smoke."
Norman: "I used to piss my pants, and then I stopped."
[Derek and Norman are discussing a strange rash on Norman's hand]
Derek: "Condoms are your first line of defense...Thats not a rash, man. I don't know, but it's very splotchy!"
[Michelle and Aaron discuss how he will deliver the eulogy]
Michelle (Regina Hall): "You're the oldest."
Aaron: "So the only reason I should do it is because I'm old."
[Michelle wants to have sex because she is ovulating]
Michelle: "I'm 37 years old...I'm trying..."
Aaron: "You're gonna have to switch that cycle down to low for now. For now! Can we find the body first?"
[The mortician returns with Aaron's father's corpse]
Brian: "We found him. We want everything to be in perfect order..."
Aaron: "You got the keys, got the BlackBerry? Cause once we bury him, we're not gonna dig him back up so you can tweet!"
[Norman on the phone] Norman: "I'm just saying everybody knows that the Colonel stole that recipe for fried chicken from a slave named Jubilaya...now I'll give him the credit for the cole slaw but that's it!
[Aaron's mother is expressing grief about her dead husband and is dismissive about the couple's (Michelle and Aaron) ability to conceive a grandchild]
Michelle: "I'm trying...we are trying!"
Cynthia: "I know what you are trying to do, Michelle, but it doesn't seem to be working! Take your hand off my husband's coffin. You are leavin' a smudge!"
[Elaine, a relation who's bringing her white fiance' (Oscar) to the funeral, wants to calm him down]
Elaine: "It'll calm you down. I used to take it all the time. Open wide, there you go..."
[She has unknowingly just given him a dose of a super-hallucinogenic drug found with her brother's belongings, labeled as valium]
Cynthia (Ryan's mother): "You always know exactly what to say"
Ryan: "I had to buy the seat next to me, I just can't do the small talk any more...and while I'm sitting there up in first class, watching all the broke people eyeballin' me cause I'm snackin' on warm nuts...there was tons of turbulence, but I guess that's the thing about flying first class. No matter how much you pay, if the plane crashes you're still end up dead."
(Mother runs off crying)
Aaron: "You know just what to say!"
[Aaron, to Ryan, about why Ryan can't help pay for the funeral and expenses]
Aaron : "You just bought a first class ticket for your toothbrush! Let's discuss this (the money) right now!"
Ryan: " ...I'm grievin'"
[Norman parking in front of Aaron's house at the funeral]
Norman: "Elaine, I was gonna park there!"
Elaine (Zoe Saldana): "Norman, are you family?"
Norman: "No, but I'm like family!"
Elaine: "There's no such thing!"
Oscar: "I've never been greener!"
Aaron: "What am I? A damn credit union?"
[On meeting Ryan]
Reverend Davis (Keith David): "You know, I gotta tell you. I squeezed this job in because I really wanted to meet you...I loved readin' Mama's Secret!"
[Ryan notices a young family friend named Martina]
Aaron: She's in 12th grade...
Ryan: She may be in 12th grade but that ass is in grad school!...I'm gonna go talk to her, it's only neighborly...
Aaron: Yeah, go ask her if she needs a juice box or somethin!
[Michelle tries to seduce Aaron by telling him she isn't wearing underwear]
Aaron: "Put some panties on before you touch the food! Big ones!'
[Duncan to Aaron]
Duncan (Ron Glass): "Some people write checks...Other people write books."
[Aaron to Ryan]
Aaron: "Let me get this straight. Our dad was bro-mantically involved with a guy that could fit in his pocket, and you're mad because he's white?!"
Donna Rodgers is a contributor from Seed.com.
'Death at a Funeral' remake, Aaron (Chris Rock) and Ryan's (Martin Lawrence) father is dead. Aaron, the dutiful son, has taken care of his parents for the past five years. Though he lives in his parent's home, his income as a tax accountant is supporting them. Ryan, nine months younger, is a celebrated author. As the family gathers for the funeral ceremony, the brothers learn their father had a gay lover and the drama begins.This remake has an all-star cast and features over-the-top comedy situations. Appearances by Danny Glover (Uncle Russell), Columbus Short (Jeff), Peter Dinklage (Frank), Loretta Devine (Cynthia), Tracy Morgan (Norman), James Marsden (Oscar), and Luke Wilson (Derek) make 'Death at a Funeral' truly entertaining.
Read the best quotes from 'Death at a Funeral' after the jump.
In the 'Death at a Funeral' remake, Aaron (Chris Rock) and Ryan's (Martin Lawrence) father is dead. Aaron, the dutiful son, has taken care of his parents for the past five years. Though he lives in his parent's home, his income as a tax accountant is supporting them. Ryan, nine months younger, is a celebrated author. As the family gathers for the funeral ceremony, the brothers learn their father had a gay lover and the drama begins.This remake has an all-star cast and features over-the-top comedy situations. Appearances by Danny Glover (Uncle Russell), Columbus Short (Jeff), Peter Dinklage (Frank), Loretta Devine (Cynthia), Tracy Morgan (Norman), James Marsden (Oscar), and Luke Wilson (Derek) make 'Death at a Funeral' truly entertaining.
Here are the best quotes from 'Death at a Funeral':
Aaron: "Brian, who's this?"
Brian (Kevin Hart): " I asked myself that when my father passed."
Aaron: "Who's this in the coffin, cause that's not my father!"
Brian: "This almost never happens."
Aaron: "You've got Jackie Chan in here...This is not Burger King. You can't just mess up my order!"
Norman: "When it's my funeral, I want people to be celebrating. Like it's Anna Nicole Smith or Richard Nixon, somebody big.
Derek: "The stock market should crash, factories shut down, girls crying in the streets..."
[Norman complains about Derek lighting up a little cigar]
Derek: "You used to smoke."
Norman: "I used to piss my pants, and then I stopped."
[Derek and Norman are discussing a strange rash on Norman's hand]
Derek: "Condoms are your first line of defense...Thats not a rash, man. I don't know, but it's very splotchy!"
[Michelle and Aaron discuss how he will deliver the eulogy]
Michelle (Regina Hall): "You're the oldest."
Aaron: "So the only reason I should do it is because I'm old."
[Michelle wants to have sex because she is ovulating]
Michelle: "I'm 37 years old...I'm trying..."
Aaron: "You're gonna have to switch that cycle down to low for now. For now! Can we find the body first?"
[The mortician returns with Aaron's father's corpse]
Brian: "We found him. We want everything to be in perfect order..."
Aaron: "You got the keys, got the BlackBerry? Cause once we bury him, we're not gonna dig him back up so you can tweet!"
[Norman on the phone] Norman: "I'm just saying everybody knows that the Colonel stole that recipe for fried chicken from a slave named Jubilaya...now I'll give him the credit for the cole slaw but that's it!
[Aaron's mother is expressing grief about her dead husband and is dismissive about the couple's (Michelle and Aaron) ability to conceive a grandchild]
Michelle: "I'm trying...we are trying!"
Cynthia: "I know what you are trying to do, Michelle, but it doesn't seem to be working! Take your hand off my husband's coffin. You are leavin' a smudge!"
[Elaine, a relation who's bringing her white fiance' (Oscar) to the funeral, wants to calm him down]
Elaine: "It'll calm you down. I used to take it all the time. Open wide, there you go..."
[She has unknowingly just given him a dose of a super-hallucinogenic drug found with her brother's belongings, labeled as valium]
Cynthia (Ryan's mother): "You always know exactly what to say"
Ryan: "I had to buy the seat next to me, I just can't do the small talk any more...and while I'm sitting there up in first class, watching all the broke people eyeballin' me cause I'm snackin' on warm nuts...there was tons of turbulence, but I guess that's the thing about flying first class. No matter how much you pay, if the plane crashes you're still end up dead."
(Mother runs off crying)
Aaron: "You know just what to say!"
[Aaron, to Ryan, about why Ryan can't help pay for the funeral and expenses]
Aaron : "You just bought a first class ticket for your toothbrush! Let's discuss this (the money) right now!"
Ryan: " ...I'm grievin'"
[Norman parking in front of Aaron's house at the funeral]
Norman: "Elaine, I was gonna park there!"
Elaine (Zoe Saldana): "Norman, are you family?"
Norman: "No, but I'm like family!"
Elaine: "There's no such thing!"
Oscar: "I've never been greener!"
Aaron: "What am I? A damn credit union?"
[On meeting Ryan]
Reverend Davis (Keith David): "You know, I gotta tell you. I squeezed this job in because I really wanted to meet you...I loved readin' Mama's Secret!"
[Ryan notices a young family friend named Martina]
Aaron: She's in 12th grade...
Ryan: She may be in 12th grade but that ass is in grad school!...I'm gonna go talk to her, it's only neighborly...
Aaron: Yeah, go ask her if she needs a juice box or somethin!
[Michelle tries to seduce Aaron by telling him she isn't wearing underwear]
Aaron: "Put some panties on before you touch the food! Big ones!'
[Duncan to Aaron]
Duncan (Ron Glass): "Some people write checks...Other people write books."
[Aaron to Ryan]
Aaron: "Let me get this straight. Our dad was bro-mantically involved with a guy that could fit in his pocket, and you're mad because he's white?!"
Donna Rodgers is a contributor from Seed.com.